Sand
Leucippus and Hypatia
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:[1]
‘If this were only cleared away’,
They said, ‘it would be grand!’
‘If seven maids[2] with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose’, Leucippus said,
That they could get it clear?’
‘I doubt it’, said Hypatia,
And shed a bitter tear.
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[1] sand: technical term for terminological confusion; also known as ‘dust’ (cf. Berkeley)
[2] maid: an obscure but well attested term for an indefatigable professor of philosophy
• possible substitutions for ‘Hypatia’: ‘Immanuel’, ‘Protagoras’, ‘Parmenides’,
• possible substitutions for ‘Leucippus’: ‘Spinoza’, von Neurath’, …
• known variants of line 1: ‘Ludwig and Elisabeth’ (nb. for any two-syllable lead author, add a one-syllable adjective of your choice in line 9. One can also in line 9 reverse the proper name and the word ‘said’ to fit the rhythm. For example: if line 1 reads ‘William James and C. D. Broad’, then line 9 reads ‘“Do you suppose”, said William James’; and line 11 takes a one-syllable adjective for Broad—or calls him ‘Charlie’. Line 2 also admits ‘hand in hand’.